And it begins...

Jen

Well, here I am again.  It's been five years since I've done a fitness show, and I can honestly say I didn't think I'd be heading down this road again.

Trainer Jamie and his girls: Ana, Jen, Bails

Not that competing wasn't a fantastic experience - it was amazing, challenging, and exciting - but it was hard.  Like, really hard.  And in some ways I'm tougher than I've ever been (I've now been through labour and the arduous process of opening a business), but in other ways I feel weaker.  More scattered.  Older and a little more worn.

Do I have time for this? my inner self wonders, do I have the fortitude?  I know that I did, once.  I managed to break through many food-related barriers on my last journey.  I was dedicated, resolved, and so, so strong.  I had weak moments, and I pushed through them, with the help of my husband (and trainer), Jamie.

I think of the stage.  I blossomed up there, a natural in the spotlight.  I smiled with ease and I truly enjoyed every minute of that day... especially winning 4th place, which I hadn't expected (my goals were simply to not look fat, and to remain standing in my heels)!

My goals will be different now, I realize.  I am not going to be satisfied with just "making it" to the stage.  I want to place well, this time.  I want to really see what I can do.  And I know, five years later, that I have more potential.  My muscles have matured and grown.  My ability to be self-critical (and realistic!) has broadened.  I have more resolve when it comes to food.

Training with Ana and Bails will be a treat, too - these chicks are so amazingly tough.  We had our first bodybuilding workout with Jamie yesterday (ow, my pecs!).  I'm going to have to work hard to keep up!  Bailey is the young'un in our group, with the least experience, but wow, the strength on her!  And Ana has been around a gym for ever - her legs are my inspiration.

Stay tuned for more fun.  This is week one of many to come...