Guilty! I screwed up.

Jen

It wasn't my fault.

Ok, it totally was... I had come prepared to a networking meeting on Tuesday night with a protein shake at the ready. I knew there would be munchy food, and likely wine. Preparation for things like this lies in not being hungry (no one is that strong when their tummy is growling), and for me, not picking at anything, because once I start, I have trouble stopping.

So I was prepared. Except that I left my shake in the car.

Sigh. It would have been so easy...

"No worries," I thought to myself, "I can stop in at the new Whole Foods and grab a healthy salad."  Excellent, Jenny, excellent.  Way to not have to go back to the car; that would have taken a whole 3 minutes.

So I had a backup plan.  Except the Whole Foods wasn't open.

Now, here was the turning point of the evening. At this very moment, I should have headed dutifully back to my car and grabbed my shake.  But I didn't! Why? No idea... sometimes my brain does dumb things.

I went to the meeting thinking, "Ok, plan C - there will definitely be healthy things there, like veggies and all that. I can munch on that. I won't have to cheat at all! This is great."  I walked in to the meeting.

Pizza, fruit trays, chocolate, cream soup, more pizza, wine, meat trays, cheese. Fack.

So much for veggies...

It wasn't my fault!

Yes it was.  It really was.  I had ample opportunity to change things. I had three chances to go back to my car. I knew that being unprepared would lead me to eat the wrong things.  And yet I did it anyway.

And what did I get? Instead of the satisfying, apres-cheat-meal feeling of awesomeness that I really like (because it comes with the guilt-free satisfaction of knowing that i really earned it after a week of eating clean), I felt gross, guilty, and disappointed in myself.  I confessed to Trainer Jamie, who was very nice about it, but firm on the fact that I now don't get another cheat until next week.

I feel a little like a kid being put on time-out.  But that's how the meat tray crumbles, I guess.

Lesson learned, though - that is not happening again.  Preparation is key from now on!  I'm back on the wagon right away, which is important, and I've learned and moved forward.